25/02/2014

A Weekend In My Life

More and more, I find myself looking forward to the weekend again, though in different ways to before.  While I usually work at the beginning of the week these days, and get all of the boring housework bits and pieces done, the weekend is a completely different matter.  Where once weekends were for dressing up, going out and getting drunk, now they are filled with movies, junk food and baked goods with my two favourite guys.  And sometimes, just sometimes, I get drunk now too.




While at times I miss my old life and the freedom that came with it, for the most part I'm happy curled up on the couch watching a good movie with equally good company.  In the last few weeks alone, I've been introduced to Star Wars and started to rewatch the Harry Potter movies.  On a sidenote, how good is Star Wars, right?  If you had told me at the beginning of the year that not only would I watch them, but I'd enjoy myself too, I'd have laughed in your face.  No lie!  I may have made up my own names for the characters, and asked the stupidest of questions, but I definitely enjoyed it.




Last weekend, as a belated Valentines present, I got a candy floss maker.  Now, while Valentines plans and presents in the past were few and far between, this was definitely the best gift I could have gotten.  I would never have thought of buying one for myself, but now it takes pride of place in my kitchen.  However, Valentines Day itself left a lot to be desired.  Caelen caught a vomiting bug and spent all that week sick.  I had hoped that I had gotten away with it, but felt less than fresh come Friday.  So we cancelled our plans to go out, and instead settled on yet another night in.  However, our night was shortlived, as Caelen woke up.  I went up to settle him again, and the next thing I know it's gone two in the morning and I was after waking up fully dressed.  Still though, I had fun for the hour or two that I stayed awake!


And Tommie, because I know you're probably reading this, thank you for making me smile.  I'm glad that you badgered me into letting you call over to watch a movie all those months ago, because now the weekends are the highlight of my week.  I know I can be a right old moanyhole, but I learnt from the best!




24/02/2014

Life As A Single Mother.

It's time to get real, and just a little bit personal.  Being a single parent is tough.  Tougher than I could have ever imagined.  While I've been (technically) single for fifteen months, I've played the single mother game since Caelen was a few weeks old.  It's been hard, harder still since I moved out on my own with him, but at the same time it's been so, so rewarding.



There's no one there to tell me when I'm letting Caelen get away with murder.  To take over when he's throwing a tantrum.  To reassure me when he's sick and I'm panicking.  There's no one there at the end of the day, when I'm tired and worn, to make me tea and tell me everything is going to be alright.  There is no one there to see the other side, to share his achievements and see the amazing little boy he's turning into.



But, the more I think about it, the more I know I'm wrong.  Being a single parent is also wonderful.  Seeing how his face lights up when I come home from work, the way his little arms reach for me, the way his nose wrinkles when he laughs.  The way he pats my back when he gives me a hug.  Knowing that, at least at the moment, I'm his entire world.  These are the things I don't have to share.  



I've been so lucky though, that I've had the support of my family and friends.  There are countless people in our lives that make such a difference.  My parents, his grandparents, who would do anything for him.  My brothers, his uncles, who are the best I could ask for as male figures in his life.  My grandparents, his great grandparents, who always have a smile and a cheeky chocolate biscuit when he visits.  He has such a supportive family, and for that I'm extremely grateful.  Not to mention my friends, who were there for me when I told them I was pregnant and continue to be there for me and Caelen today.  And a certain someone, who puts a smile on my face on a continuous basis, who has not only accepted the fact that I come as part of a package now, but is really good with Caelen too.




Where it used to hurt me that his dad only has an interest in him when it suits him, now it doesn't.  He's the one missing out on this special boy, my little buddy.  Seeing him grow from the tiny little bundle that I brought home, to the blue eyed toddler he is today, is amazing.  I will forever be proud of him.


10/02/2014

Back With A Bang!

The last few weeks, this here little blog has been on my mind.  I've missed having somewhere to write and interact with people.  I've missed reading other peoples blogs.  Maybe I'll be able to stick to it better this time, maybe I won't, but I've decided to give blogging another bash and see how it goes.  I've decided to start (almost) completely fresh and have gotten rid of all my old posts.  They may appear again, they may not.  I still don't know what direction I want to take this blog in, but until then, how's about a recap?

I'm now 26, a lot older but not a lot wiser, than when I first started blogging.  I have an almost eighteen month old little boy, Caelen, who is the absolute centre of my world.  He's turned into such a little character, and knows exactly what he wants.  He has his mama completely wrapped around his little finger, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Of course, there have been days that I've questioned my parenting ability, especially as a single mother, but for the most part I think I do alright!




Up until October last year, we lived with my family, but now we're out in the big bad world on our own.  Having our own house is lovely, and it's only a two minute walk from my parents house. Even though I'm only renting, I have lots of plans for this house, starting with clearing out the garden and buying a swing set.  And maybe a puppy.  I can't wait to make it a proper home for Caelen, somewhere he feels safe and loved.

Those of you who used to read my old blog, Daiquiris and Denial, will remember me talking about Caelen's dad.  He's not part of the picture anymore, though he does see Caelen for two hours every week.  It was for the best to remove him from my life, and I'm a lot happier since I made that decision.  For the last three months or so, I've been seeing someone.  He's good `to me, good with Caelen, and his Twitter bio describes him as being "bearded and awesome".  What more does a girl want?


After almost six years in a job I hated, I finally plucked up the courage to leave.  I started a job in the Irish branch of Poundland, Dealz, in July, and I love it.  While the job itself is similar to what I was doing, there's more responsibility day to day.  I've got to meet some lovely new people, and find out who my real friends were in the old job.  So... good and bad I guess.


Speaking of work, I've just realised that I have to be there in just under an hour and I'm still in my pyjamas.  I think I was a little bit too enthusiastic about getting back into blogging once I got my internet this morning.  Until next time,